Domestic violence can happen to anyone.
Domestic violence is more than a private or family matter; it is a public health issue that can have lasting effects on a survivor’s physical health, mental health, safety, and overall quality of life.
What is Domestic Violence? Domestic violence is also referred to as domestic abuse, intimate partner violence and sometimes family violence.
Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in a relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another person through fear, intimidation, and often the threat or use of violence.
Domestic violence also includes actions or threats of actions used to manipulate, coerce, or control another person and compel them to submit to the will of the abuser.
Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, verbal, or nonverbal.
Stalking is also a common component of domestic violence and often continues during or after a relationship has ended. Stalking behaviors may include repeatedly calling, texting, or messaging the survivor; monitoring their whereabouts; showing up uninvited at their home, workplace, or other locations; using technology to track their movements; or contacting friends, family members, or coworkers to gather information about them.
Many survivors have never heard of the term economic abuse, yet it is a frequently used tactic of power and control. Economic abuse can include, but is not limited to, controlling access to money, interfering with employment or education, and creating debt in the survivor’s name.
Domestic violence can also involve spiritual abuse, such as using religious beliefs to justify abusive behavior or controlling a survivor’s religious or spiritual practices, including preventing them from attending religious services.

MAKING PLANS TO LEAVE OR LEAVING IS THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME
Leaving an abusive relationship is often the most dangerous time for a survivor because the abuser may escalate their behavior when they feel their power and control are being challenged or lost.
PLAN FOR YOUR SAFETY
Creating a safety plan can be the difference of life and death. Safety plans are individualized according to each survivor’s situation. Click to learn about safety planning considerations to help you get started, or call our hotline anytime for assistance, 713-528-2121.
Why is it so hard to “just leave”?
For survivors, the decision to stay in an abusive relationship is complicated, while the decision to leave takes a lot of courage. Someone may stay for any number of reasons:
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- Fear
- Love
- Lack of resources
- Financial barriers
- Shame
- Guilt
- Children
- Disability/dependence on the abuser
- Cultural or religious expectatioins/beliefs
- Immigration status
- Feelings of low self-worth
- Having to leave a beloved pet
The Tell-Tale Signs of an Abusive Relationship
There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner.
Does your partner …
- Intimidate you?
- Manipulate you?
- Humiliate you?
- Isolate you?
- Frighten you?
- Terrorize you?
- Coerce you?
- Threaten you?
- Blame you?
- Hurt you, injure you and/or cause bruising?
- Control your money?
Do you …
- Fear your partner?
- Believe the abuse is your fault?
- Find that your partner blames you for their own abusive behavior?
- Believe that you deserve to be mistreated?
- Feel helpless or alone?
- Feel humiliated?
- Feel ashamed?
- Feel embarrassed to disclose to your friends/family?
- Think that your partner’s temper is unpredictable?
- Think that your partner always tries to control you?
Where can you go when you decide to leave?
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- Survivors are encouraged to call our Hotlines or LiveChat with us for assistance. If you are in immediate danger or need emergency assistance, call 911.
- Domestic Violence Hotline: (713) 528-2121
Sexual Assault Hotline: (713) 528-RAPE (7273)
TTY: (346) 295-8994
Frequently Asked Questions
Plan for your safety. Creating a safety plan can be the difference between life and death. Safety plans are individualized according to each survivor’s situation. Click for a sample to help you get started or call our hotline for assistance.
USE THE COMMUNITY ADVOCATES’ “3Rs”:
1. RECOGNIZE: Know the signs and listen without judging
“It is not your fault. You do not deserve to be treated this way.”
2. RESPOND: Validate and be empathetic
“I believe you, it makes sense that you are afraid. What can I do to support you?”
3. REFER: Provide resources (911, our hotline numbers, HAWC information)
“I am concerned for your safety; free and confidential help is available. Do you want me to sit with you while you connect with HAWC?”

